What makes a show like ‘Indian Matchmaking’ possible? This book examines marriage in India

Lately we’ve been wondering, with all the matchmaking in the air — the explosion of online dating, the resurgence of traditional matchmaking as seen on Bravo’s horrifically amazing new show Millionaire Matchmaker , for example — who’s to say a revival of arranged marriage is all that far behind? FOX News interviewed a trend expert who believes that the new way to find a partner could be by returning to the old way :. As America expanded multi-culturally, this custom filtered through as certain ethnic groups sought to preserve cultural and class traditions. But, contrary to the “old” arranged marriage, in which children are forbidden from choosing their own partners, the modern arranged marriage is not about being forced into federation. It’s about relying on the matchmaking mastery of Mom and Dad. And if arranged marriage is a family affair, then could this new dating site that Tango just featured represent a closing of the gap between online dating and arranged marriage?

Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent

Arranged marriages have been an integral part of the Indian society. The people responsible for the arrangement of the marriage can be parents, matchmaking agents, matrimonial sites or a trusted third party. It is also a fact that India has a very low divorce rate of only 1.

Arranged marriage is one of the ways Indian families self-isolate within their own social classes and groups, entrenching age-old divisions.

Is it true that traditionally, Jewish marriages were arranged marriages? Does Judaism mandate or legitimize this practice? If arranged means coerced—no. However, Torah law and Jewish custom have always frowned upon this practice, even in ancient times. This, indeed, has always been the practice within the Jewish community since its inception. The shadchan method has proven to be the most effective way to find a marriage partner. One starts off meeting someone who is at least somewhat compatible, rather than meeting people at random.

I am now 72 years old and wish to God I had had a matchmaker involved in my marriage choices. After two disasters, and many years of searching, I have never found the right mate. Be glad that you have family and friends who are willing to help you find the right mate and save you years of disappointment and heartbreak.

Great explanation. There seems to be an inherent confusion about the meaning of the phrase “arranged marriage”. I live in India and I am tired of telling everyone that arranged marriage is not forced marriage and that the final decision is left to the man and the woman at least in the case of middle class and educated Indians. Arranged marriages done the right way also has better chances of success according to research data!

New dating app is like the Tinder of arranged marriages

Perpetuating stereotypes of colourism, casteism and sexism about the country, the creators forget that Indian millennials and their families have come a long way after battling these societal norms for years, netizens argue. Youngsters are calling out the American platform and creator Smriti Mundhra for judging people by their looks and also for making marriage seem like an accomplishment and necessity even as men and their families specifically searched for women who could stay home and look after children.

All of this as they binge-watched the show. It is wrong on so many levels. Some of these things are appalling – sexism, classism. I, however, cannot stop watching it,” a user tweeted.

No one in my immediate family has had an arranged marriage, but I have many relatives who have. Arranged marriages are not monolithic and are as varied as.

S haymaa Ali was running out of time. As a research librarian brought up in a traditional Muslim family, Ali was caught between two ways of life. Can you leave work? And I would think, Why are you meeting me? You came knowing that I worked. But as time moves on, you also get scared: What if I turned 31 or 32 without getting married? I might never be a mother. Read: Meet the Turkish model who wants to predict your future. These were the post—Arab Spring years, and an economic recession was making it harder for young people to find jobs and start families.

Then, in , Ali began writing on her Facebook page about her experiences as a single woman. Soon, she had more than 50, followers. Every week, women messaged her to share familiar tales of unsuitable suitors and unbearable family pressures. This was around the time that dating apps like Tinder and Bumble were being introduced in the Middle East and North Africa. While dating is not culturally approved of in Egypt, it does happen, usually covertly and with the intention of finding a life partner.

The evolution of marriage, from strictly arranged to semi-arranged

I ndian Matchmaking on Netflix is the kind of aunty gaze nobody needs to see highlighted, or worse, glorified. Taparia is the perfect embodiment of a typical aunty who perpetuates casteist, sexist and colourist notions throughout the show and believes parents know best. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Oscar-nominated director Smriti Mundhra said she wanted to depict this tradition of arranged marriages for a global audience on Netflix, but not specifically for a Western gaze.

Apart from just navigating the difficult search for a suitor, these struggles include the general resistance many have to put up against parents who continually try to exert their choices upon us. Mundhra claims the show is meant to capture the diversity of ideologies and backgrounds that make up the South Asian experience, but no criticality is exercised at any point.

Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U.S. and India in the arranged marriage process, offering an inside look at the custom in a.

Follow Us. We go behind the scenes of the Netflix show that has taken over our Instagram feeds with the two women instrumental in bringing it to life. In her twenties, Indian-American filmmaker Smriti Mundhra vacillated between blueprinting the creative life she sought and a more conservative vision touted by her family. Her latest endeavour, Indian Matchmaking , is a brand-new Netflix series featuring Mumbai-based alliance consultant Sima Taparia and a clutch of happily-ever-after hopefuls, split between the US and India.

At first blush, viewers may suspect the eight-part reality series, which debuted worldwide on July 16, is the South Asian answer to Dating Around , another courtship-centric series from the streaming giant. But a closer look reveals that Indian Matchmaking , steered by the straight-shooting Taparia, is a nuanced portrayal of a practice in flux. Smriti Mundhra: It was Sima! She was my matchmaker back in the day.

My previous project, A Suitable Girl , which featured her, was meant to be a coming-of-age film about young women in India but there was this whole world of matchmaking that Sima embodied that was just as revealing about our culture and our biases.

Netflix series Indian Matchmaking is this year’s scariest horror story about arranged marriages

I was in the middle of an editorial meeting at the newspaper I worked for in when it came out of nowhere: an overwhelming sense of fear, the trembling hands, the absolute certainty that my heart was going to burst out of my chest. It would be years before I understood that what I had experienced that day — and would on three subsequent occasions — was a panic attack.

I was 24, and just two hours before, my parents had called to ask me to be home on time that night. I had no intention of watching it. I had been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt and made a bonfire from it. It is a practice that is followed in several Middle Eastern countries, Japan and Turkey, among others.

Online vs offline matchmaking. Matrimonial websites may have eased the process of surfing through a range of potential matches, beyond caste.

They spoke in the kitchen, her mother pretending to wash dishes in the background and her brother hiding in a cupboard, eavesdropping. Thus, the beginning of her matchmaking experience ended almost as soon as it began. Executive produced by Smriti Mundhra, it follows Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker Mundhra met when her own mother solicited matchmaking services for her a decade ago. Mundhra, who was raised in the U. She made a documentary on the topic in , A Suitable Girl , a broad and bitter portrait of traditional matchmaking in India.

It follows three women up until their wedding days, documenting their loss of independence and observing the severe social and familial pressures they face throughout the process. Its success landed Mundhra a meeting at Netflix, where she pitched Indian Matchmaking.

Arranged Marriages?

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On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage.

Skip navigation! Story from Best of Netflix. I do not typically spend time watching reality TV , which might surprise some considering I was once on a reality show. Given my own experience and ethnic background, I wanted to love the show and be supportive, but to me the series fell flat and overly simplified and stereotyped what it means to be Indian. Although the couples Sima fixes up are not forced to marry, the end goal of matchmaking is that, after a few dates, the people involved will commit to an eventual engagement or Roka.

After having a Roka, the couple can plan their nuptials on their own timeline and get to know each other more.

CONTINUE TO BILLING/PAYMENT

Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.

In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride. Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way.

Though these families use a matchmaker, the matching process is one the entire community and culture is invested in.

Re-thinking Indian Arranged Marriage and Matchmaking on American Television. Arranged Marriage. New reality show Arranged Marriage. In the fall of , I.

Then there was the time my dad told me I was disinvited to his future funeral, because my preference was to date whomever I wanted as opposed to accepting an arranged marriage and that was an embarrassment to the family. He conveniently denies this ever happened, for the record. The reality show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai who travels around the world helping Indian clients find suitable matches for marriage.

Rather, marriage is a transaction between two families. Some of her clients are parents who are desperate to get their children married, others are marriage seekers themselves who turned to her service after they were unsuccessful meeting people on dating apps and elsewhere. What struck me most was that, in many cases, the characters we meet are not seeking acceptance and affection from a partner, but from their own families.

Seeing the pressure unfold literally gave me anxiety. Critics have been quick to point out how problematic the show is. Everyone shown is relatively well-off, and there are no queer or Muslim characters. The blatant colorism, sexism and weight-related comments we witness in “Indian Matchmaking” is jarring. The thing is, none of this is news to people in the Indian community.

Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’: The true colours of arranged marriage ain’t pretty

Who know that shooting an advertisement for an anti-dandruff shampoo will get them together for Romantic Marriage Stories: Guest Author Series; Jayasree. Arranged marriages are traditional in South Asian society and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in the Indian subcontinent. According to them marriage is a system of completions of a girl’s and boy’s mind fillings to each other. We stood staring at each other for a while; I was scared to death by that weird look he has in his eyes.

She shoos me away from the television like any proper Indian mother must, even snapping the set off at the first hint of a India has evolved but these marriages undeniably remain the norm.

web show deals with the age-old Indian arranged marriage rigmarole. Indian Matchmaking ranked three in Netflix’s top 10 list for India on.

Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody. A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband.

These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture. The show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai, as she jets around the world, quizzing clients on their preferences, handing them “biodatas” for potentially compatible mates that’s the term she uses for what seem to be a cross between a resume and a dating profile and ultimately introducing them to prospective spouses.

Love Marriage Vs Arrange Marriage